Something I wish I could tell my children is that I want to revamp their bedrooms. That would be a partial lie. What I want is for them to come home and live. Another lie. If they were to come home and live here, they would be adults not currently fulfilling their own dreams. The time may come when they need this safety net rather than a mini-vacation. I realize the economy may present challenges for them and they might need this home. I hope not, but I recognize that as a possibility. If that were to happen, they would need to be pulling their weight. No mommy catering to whims during a short break. No chores assigned as often happens with children. They would need to see that they are needed and what they do is valuable...especially if they can't find work. They would need that for themselves. So if they live at home, rather than vacation here, it wouldn't be the same as what I miss. That is gone and will never return. Perhaps it would be lovely for my selfish parts...
Still, I do want to revamp their space. I won't because I want them to know they have that safe space. For retreat or rejoice, until they have their own family home, a bedroom with childhood memories remains.
I have plans for those rooms. I am moving on to the next part of my life. Never away from them. I have no words to adequately express that they are always in mind when I make decisions. Even while enjoying my every day, I plan around them so that I don't miss opportunities to bask in the warmth of their presence. It actually adds to my life, does not prevent me from doing anything, this wanting to plan with them in mind.
But sometimes, just occasionally, I see their rooms utilized differently. They still would have rooms, just adjusted ones. Perhaps soon. It might just be a surprise redecorating so I don't have to tell them.